Both partners must be supportive of each other’s life and goals, first, but neither has any idea they are out of high school. I didn’t decide what work I was best at until age 33 and I was 52 when I discovered what kind of partner was best for me. My wife didn’t expect to find a partner at all. We are a perfect match. Someone told us as we were leaving a local night club in Houston that “if she ever got married again that she wanted one like ours.” That was just from watching us.
Romance novels are “novels about women written by women” according to my favorite author, Brenda Hiatt. They generally teach exactly what you said about the main purpose in life being to find a husband, any husband, especially if set in the Regency period in London. I am currently reading the Spinster novels where the Spinster newspaper columnists were all about 25 years old. The culture still needs to shift some more.