I belong to a writers club in The Villages, FL — 23 published book authors — and me. I mark and comment about long paragraphs at “group-read” and send them back to the author. Most will be publishing new books.
I point out that I find single 2 and 3 screen paragraphs on my Kindle irritating. Split them up even if they are grammatically correct.
This is an excellent list with many points that apply to designing computer apps. So many developers make the same mistakes.
Finally, be careful with your comments. That writing, too, represents you as a writer.